There is the danger zone, the no-fly zone, the school zone, and even the T-zone. However, today I want to talk about the dreaded “friend zone”. For clarification, this is a vast black hole that is void of any sexual tension or passion. No spark, no chemistry, and no hanky-panky can be found in this area. This, my few followers, is the zone Baby Face (last night’s date) coasted into.
I met Baby Face (he doesn’t look a day over 19 and he is a year younger then me) a while ago and we have gone on a few dates but nothing had ever materialized. He is cute, goal oriented and a devoted father. We have a similar sense of humor and the conversation flows smoothly. All of this is great; however, when I consulted with my clitoris mid-date she said, “Yeah I am getting no love ‘n feeling down here. Abort.” Fail.
I know my male followers (at least the straight ones) are collectively rolling their eyes. “Give him a chance. If he is a nice guy try to make it work.” And a nice guy he is. He brought snacks for our hike, made sure I was comfortable, and opens the car door for me first. None of that is lost on me and if I had a burning desire for him to couple with all of that we’d be in Vegas right now. I just can not suffer through a relationship with no sexual chemistry.
What pains me the most is that at the end of the date he gave me a peck (what is this 7th grade?) and said, “We have to do this very soon. Don’t let this much time pass before calling me again.” -Gulp- We do? I shouldn’t? I’ll have to talk to him and tell him I’d love to remain friends. Ouch.
You're "little man in the boat" is a female?! You really do learn something new everyday.
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ReplyDeleteHey, I'm not judging. I consult my clitoris for advice all the time.
ReplyDeleteGood lord, "consulted my clitoris"?
ReplyDeleteI hate that conversation. "Um I don't like you in that way. Let's just stay friends just don't call me too much, haha." When you know, you know.
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ReplyDeleteI have another friend who expects sparks to fly all around her when on a first date.
ReplyDeleteSo he was nervous, shy, polite, a gentleman... you sure it's not too early to stick him in the "friend zone"?
Sometimes friends make the best lovers... I mean, he's obviously attractive enough to accept a first date with, but just because he didn't "go for the gold", try to suck your face off, or try and cop a cheap feel makes him uninterested or an instant fail?
I'd like more clarification... just consider me the devil's advocate! ;)
fiiinally, to be honest i really missed your posts, you have one of the best styles of writing that i have had the honor of coming across, and your wittyness is no exception, yay i'm happy. hahaha.
ReplyDeleteHey little sis coming through.
ReplyDeleteWell from professional dating experience (not) I can say the easiest way to have the "let's just be friends" talk is to be real. I told a guy I just wanted to be friends once. He got really sad and didn't go to work for a couple days but I kept it real nonetheless!!
P.S Denise is an ass kisser